A letter writer finds a pair of racy underwear that isn’t theirs in their laundry. Dear Miss Manners: I live near a university, and graduate students are always looking for odd jobs to make extra money. One of them does my laundry twice a week, and always returns it beautifully folded.

My instinct is to return the item in a little bag with a note saying it isn’t mine. But somehow that feels rude, presumptuous and a bit intrusive.

My instinct is to return the item in a little bag with a note saying it isn’t mine. But somehow that feels rude, presumptuous and a bit intrusive.

Miss Manners suggests that you indeed return the garment with the note saying it is not yours. Adamant assurances of your open-mindedness need not accompany it. Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website,